Editors:

June, 1964 Len Shearer

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The May club social was held on Friday, May 1, with quite a few of the "regulars" missing, including Richard and Rae, Ken and Jeanette, Maurie and Joyce, and Gerry and Elaine. Nice to see Ron and Adrienne back after a two-months absence. Also Judy Sisson, whom we had not seen for almost 12 months. Janice Jackson was also back with us after a two-months disappearance. We were pleased to welcome Darryl, who rides a Heinkel, to his first club social. Business was discussed and concluded after about an hour. Several games were organised by the social committee, in which everyone took part. Supper was served at 10.30pm and disappeared very quickly as usual. Then came a Twist Contest — not many took part but those who did enjoyed themselves thoroughly, trying to wear out our floor. Most went home at 11.30pm — once again a very early conclusion to the evening.

Six scooters and two cars gathered at our city meeting spot for our trip to Buxton via Marysville. Nice to see Doug Clarke back after an absence since his first trip to Torquay. Left at five past nine and met three more scooters at Camberwell Junction, including prospective new member Tony. Met the Vespa Club at Lilydale (3 members, 2 scooters), and then proceeded after a brief chin-wag for Healesville. Here we left singly in order to avoid congestion on the hills, and were to meet over the top of the Black Spur. Upon arrival, we found that Pat and Ron had not arrived — turned the wrong way coming out of Healesville apparently. Arrived at Buxton, then went straight to Marysville, while rain began to fall quite heavily. Had lunch and spent the afternoon in the café, playing the pin-ball machines, the juke-box, and ten-pin bowling machine and occasionally dancing. Ken, Sheila and Rex went searching for the lost machines. Judy showed some amazing skill on the pin-ball machine, running up an amazing total of 3419, the next nearest being well under 2000. Janice, Darryl, Bob and Peter gave a marvellous twisting exhibition, while Len showed how to master the ten-pin bowls with two quite miraculous scores. Left for home at 3.30pm and had a panicky time trying to find a petrol station open. Finally got one at Narbethong and then went straight through the Healesville. Met the lost bodies and after hearing their excuses (went to Yea, Toolangi and then to Marysville, but didn’t see us), we proceeded straight for home. Arrived Ringwood at 6pm and from there dispersed to our own homes, with heavy rain still falling.

"The Green Horror", the motor cycling newspaper which appears once very fortnight, was at one stage open to any articles or letters from motor scooterists. For over twelve months our club had been publishing a column with news of club events, etc, when suddenly we were told that our contributions were no longer required. I recently came across the letter by which we were notified, and I think it is worth printing exactly as it was typed. Anyone doubting that this is true is invited to inspect the original letter at any time, as I carry it in my pocket as a memento. Here’s how it goes:

"Miss Barbara Landers,

I8m so orry, and its terrible to have to try, in a few brief t typed words, to say thank you f or the notes. BUT, from now on, I haave to restrict the news to the few advertisers e etc that su port … and Scooters Do NOT … not for years … and I just can’t go on and on … printing costs me MONEY … and I must get returns from the cource I sell to … all very complicanted, but I did write a note to one of your officials and he should have advised you … NOT to send copy again … sorry … Have you seen a Scooter ADVERT in this paper?? "Sun" yes .. but not mine … why?? then must I print scooter news .. when "Sun" does not??

(Signed) The Editor"

Well, that’s it. I regard that as a classic, and one which some day I may even frame. Len

"Hypodermic syringe" — "Hypodermic syringe".

"Tweezers" — "Tweezers".

"Scalpel" — "Scalpel".

"Oops, blotter" —

Nine machines met at Alexandra Avenue on Sunday, May 17, for our trip to "Bear’s Castle" — a place unknown to all but our president. Left at 9.15am and met Dave and Cynthia along the way. Stopped briefly at Preston and then proceeded to the Yan Yean Reservoir, from which point we were to walk around to the objective, an old mud-brick fortress built almost a century ago, on the northern banks of the Yan Yean. However, as the area has been closed off to visitors, we were not allowed to enter the reserve. Left then for Whittlesea, after leaving Alex’s "Oscar" at a garage. Following lunch we headed for Howat’s Lookout via Humedale. A steep climb took us half-way up to the crest, and we decided to walk the rest. Walked up to the top very slowly, taking about an hour to get there. Part of the view was very good, but trees unfortunately blocked off most of it — however it could be a popular spot in ten years’ time. Arrived back at 3pm and then went to watch the go-kart races in the small township. Noise and fumes filled the air and we eventually left for home at 4pm arriving at dispersal point, Preston, at about 5 o’clock.

On Thursday, May 7 we were to go for a tour of Melbourne’s tourist attractions, but it was decided to change this to an evening at Albert Park Table Tennis Centre. Five members attended, namely Peter, Lionel, Judy, Darryl and Len. An hour was spent slamming the celluloid ball across the table, with Peter, Judy and Len showing some dazzling form. Lionel and Darryl supplied the laughs. Following this we amused ourselves on the ten-pin bowling alley, with Darryl showing how with some very high scores. Left for the city at 9.30pm and had supper at The Alicante, leaving for home afterwards at 10.45pm.

Scooters have been in the news quite a lot recently in Britain, and much of this news has found its way into our own Australian dailies.

The first item we noticed was that a firm in London has opened a taxi service, using motor scooters as the vehicles. This service has only just begun and first reports are that it is proving fairly successful with the two-wheelers getting in and out of traffic at a far more speedier and economical rate than even the small mini-cabs (which caused quite a furore when they began operating several years ago). Only time will tell whether the firm will persevere with the idea, but in principle it is good.

The second item, unfortunately, concerns the "Mods". We have all read of the brawls and stupid behaviour shown by these louts, but have not as yet experienced the same thing here (and I hope we don’t). These mods do not belong to any scooter clubs; they are simply groups of louts who gather together in similar fashion as a club, but only to cause trouble. They wear cloth caps and leave their crash helmets strapped to their rear carriers, apparently to protect the latter. Another idiosyncrasy of the mod is to ride the scooter at break-neck speeds with their feet as far away from the brake pedal as possible — either stuck out in front, or trailing behind on the pillion footrest. Many of them have beautifully-adorned machines, draped with chromework, fog lights and other accessories. Unfortunately these are stolen from the genuine and innocent scooterist. As can be expected, the dozens of scooter clubs in Britain are being judged by these childish acts and are suffering because of them. The sooner they are stopped the better it will be for the two-wheelists over there.

(Much of this news has been condensed from "Kassa News", the mag of the Kent and Sussex Scooter Association, to whom we send acknowledgment for allowing us to reprint some of their articles).

A travelling salesman, reputed to have a very witty sense of humour, called at the back door of a monastery. His knock was answered by a man wearing a religious robe, and who was holding in his hand a pan full of fish and chips. The salesman immediately saw an opening for conversation, and said "Hello there, you must be the fryer?". But the reply rather stunned him a little: "Oh no", said the religious man, "I am the chip monk."

"Did you enjoy your holiday at the beach with your daddy?" the little seven year old was asked.

"Oh, yes", came his reply, "it was lots of fun".

"And what did you like best of all".

"Well, every morning Daddy took me out in his row-boat and then let me swim all the way back."

"My goodness, aren’t you a clever boy. How far out did your Daddy take you?"

"About 2 miles".

"And you swam all the way back every morning? It must have made you very tired."

"Oh no, the most tiring part was trying to get out of the bag."

From Kassa News

Friday, May 22 was the date arranged for our night at ten-pin bowling. Thirteen of us met at Alexandra Avenue, including Cynthia’s cousin Bob; also nice to see Alan and Mary again — first time since the Endurance Walk, which Alan won. Decided to go to the Northcote Plaza and arrived there at 7.45, after meeting Alex and Barbara on the way. Managed to acquire three lanes and all played one game to start with. Then three other games were played on the one lane, the others being required for tournaments. Some to show good form were Ross and Darryl (both beginner’s luck), Barbara, Peter, Rex and Richard. Judy also showed how to bowl them perfectly straight — down the channel. Left the place at 11.30pm, dispersing outside, but with some going into the city for supper.

I hear that Mickey Mouse saved Minnie Mouse from drowning recently. Gave her mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.

Rainy weather greeted us at our city meeting place on Sunday, May 31, for our proposed trip to Warrandyte and Wonga Park. We welcomed a visitor, Althea Purdy, who intends buying a scooter shortly, and who came along to have a "look-see" at some of the machines. Also present was Sheila’s brother Ron, on his recently-painted Vespa, and displaying his "L" plates. Six scooters and two cars totalled the convoy, and we headed east with the water still coming down. Darryl broke down in Swan Street, then we all stopped in Johnston Street to wait for Kevin, Alan and pillion Mary, who had gone to gather some waterproof gear. Then Lionel arrived — going the other way! Got going again and Darryl conked out again just near Kew Junction. Discarded the Heinkel and proceeded to Mont Albert Tram Terminus, arriving there at 10.40am. Voted here to call it off, and all went to Lionel’s home in Box Hill. Spent the rest of the day playing cards, watching slides and eating. Left for home at about 3pm, when the rain had finally stopped. Many thanks to Lionel and Mr Lobbe for providing the club with shelter and entertainment for the day.