EDITORIAL MAY 1980

We are pleased to see that everyone read last month’s mag. Judging by the response we can’t say that everyone enjoyed it. But at least they read it. It seems incredible to have to go to those lengths (dirty jokes ) to get some reaction. We would be much happier to have the response in writing – not just verbally. We apologize to anyone (or their mother) who took offence at any article. We don’t like being called smutty but it is better than nothing.

Also remember that between the three of us (Lynne, Smithy & Jude ) about 30 hours a month goes into typing the magazine not including the time spent chasing articles, finding out details on coming events and printing the bloody thing.

Smithy & Jude

Also we are running out of jokes and material, so any contributions will be gratefully accepted.

We would like to thank Lloyd Thomas very much for printing 600 new magazine covers. It was greatly appreciated. Also we would like to add that he did it for nothing.

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MAY RUNS

Sunday 4 SPORTS DAY. Mt. Macedon area. KBCP 9.00am.

Details in this mag.

Saturday 10 PROGRESSIVE DINNER. Upper Ferntree Gully Station. 5.00pm.

Details in this mag.

Sunday 11 APOLLO BAY. Round trip KBCP 9.00am

Saturday 17 SERVICE DAY. Kevin Robertsons. After 12 noon.

Details this mag.

Sunday 18 POLLY McQUINNS. BBQ. KBCP 9.30am.

Sunday 25 FAMILY DAY. Firth park, Wombat State Forest. KBCP 10am.

JUNE

Sunday 1 ECONOMY RIDE. KBCP 9.00am. Details this mag.

Friday 6 GENERAL MEETING. Fees due.

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REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER

Bring along your $6.00 for the June meeting. Membership Fees are payable that night for the next year as explained in the February magazine.

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PROGRESSIVE TALLY FOR CLUB MEMBER OF THE YEAR, AS OF 27.4.80

Fagan 55 Keithy 46 Ian 45

Craig 53 Les 45 Tom 40

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PROGRESSIVE DINNER

SATURDAY 10^TH MAY Cost $3.50 per person

MEET AT UPPER FERNTREE GULLY STATION AT 5.00pm.

SOUP SALLY & BRENDAN GLEESON,

22 Huges St., Upwey. 754 6060

MAIN COURSE MICK FAGAN

1 Carre St., Elsternwick 582 6061

SWEETS ANN & RON HAYWARD

20 Hudson St., Moonee Ponds 375 1927

COFFEE FAYE & GEOFF MORGAN

246 Gap Road, Sunbury. 744 1189

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FAMILY DAY

Sunday 25^th May. Firth Park, Wombat State Forest.

This is our first attempt at a “family day” as opposed to a “parents” day. It means that you get your “2” points for bringing anyone who can legitimately be classed as family.

So....bring your kids, mum and dad, or even your old auntie, and let them see what a wonderful bunch of people the MTCV are.

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RAFFLE

The response has been disappointing to the raffle. The prizes are really worthwhile.

1^st prize A pair of Medal boots $75

2^nd prize A pair of gloves $25

3^rd prize A visor

So, all you “lousy bastards” dig deep. It is only 50c a ticket. It won’t break you. Drawn the June meeting.

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SERVICE DAY Saturday 17^th May

KEVIN ROBERTSON Main Road, Kinglake West.

After servicing or whatever you choose to do, there will be facilities of a BBQ tea and social evening. Bring your own meat and drinks. Anyone who wants to can stay the night (BYO sleeping bag) and leave for the run (Polly McQuinns) for Kevin’s place.

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SPORTS DAY

Sunday 4^th May K.B.C.P. 9am.

Take Lancefield Road to Romsey, turn left to Woodend, approx 10kms later you will come up a crest to an almost blind intersection. There is a very hard right hand turn onto a gravel road, take it and proceed down this road. A short distance later (under 2km) you will find a farmhouse driveway on your right, it’s the 1^st driveway you come across on your right. The approach to the driveway is down hill, a little steep. The driveway disappears over a hill. You can’t see the farmhouse from the road.

Sports Day.

Sports day this year will be at Ann Haywards parents place in the Mt. Macedon area. It is generally a real fun day:- a series of gymkhana events. ½ point for each event you enter (but, if you enter more than once in the same event you still only get your ½ point) So come along and enjoy yourself. There will be BBQ facilities for lunch.

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ECONOMY RIDE Sunday 1^st. June KBCP 9am.

This will be run within a radius of 160km of Melbourne. On a route to be decided, by the winner of last years run.

Everyone must turn up at the KBCP with a full tank of petrol (as you should on every run) and a reliable machine.

The idea of this exercise is to see who can go the furthest on a tank of petrol. So may the best Honda win. Sorry, I mean bike.

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OBITURAY

As quite a few of you will know by now John Kuyl was killed on his way to work on Friday 17^th April.

John had been on only 2 club runs but he was a very enthusiastic rider. He had had a lot of trouble with his bike, Suzuki 250 at Mt. Gambier and had just ironed out the problems.

We would like to sympathise with his parents. We did not know him all that well, but it is still a sad loss to us all.

Rest in Peace JOHN.

Members of the MTCV

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On this sombre note, we thought it would be of interest to some of the older members that “Flasher” Albert Fleming and his lady Teresa were involved I an accident a couple of weeks ago. We don’t have much detail, only that Flasher is OK and that Teresa will be in Dandenong Hospital for 8 to 10 weeks. Broken kneecaps, broken heel and toe. (I think)

It makes you realize just how easily it could be you.

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PILCHERS BRIDGE RUN 30/3/80

Eighteen riders (yes, with bikes, you clever little person) set out for the mysterious Pitchers Bridge, per the run leaflet, but never reached there. You see, it was Pilchers Bridge!!

The journey to Heathcote was uneventful, although a trifle wintery, and your correspondent was beginning to think it may be necessary to invent some windly scandalous news. But-it was not necessary. In Heathcote, Keiths’ BM split its life blood in the main street and he felt a bit like doing the same with the unsympathetic throng of advisors gathered around. Then off to Castlemaine via a circuitous route and a lunch break to taste the exotic local dishes and again provide something for the locals to stare at; however, it seemed the dishes did not generally have the seal of approval of the good housekeeping institute and the locals were not worth staring back at either.

Here and elsewhere, it was discovered that a Suzuki 550 had various unpleasant symptoms due to loose disc brake and steering fittings; not forgetting the mysterious liquid that appeared inside someone’s helmet. Memo – do not leave helmets on Castlemaine footpaths – their dogs have no respect!

And so to Pilchers Bridge. Over a fair stretch of the dreaded dirt road and there it was – a picture of rustic decay in splendid isolation, all ten metres of it, over a murky pool full of unmentionable things.

We were destined to linger at this exotic location for some time due to a few missing riders, who, it proved, were helping someone find an obscure electrical fault – a blown fuse. While trying to find the cause of the delay, Chris broke a headlamp on his BM ($66, thank yew) and was not amused.

Anyway, after a brief conducted tour of Pilchers Bridge (17 seconds) for the late arrivals, we said farewell to the only inhabitants – some threatening looking goats, and arrived back at Heathcote to throw the local service station into chaos (and some were very glad to see it – who ran out of petrol, hmm?)

Back to Melbourne via any road but the one you expected and there we were in suburbia – still slightly overawed by the wonder of Pilchers Bridge.

Peter Dwyer Honda CX500

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FOR SALE * * * * FOR SALE * * * * FOR SALE

One pair of Medal boots. Brown size 7 ½ - 8 need resoling.

$30 O.N.O. ring JOY 531 7003

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MT.GAMBIER. EASTER WEEKEND.

Keith Harris and I left my place at Elwood at 10.45am on Thursday morning so as to get an early start and beat the Easter rush out of Melbourne. We arrived at the Mount at 3.45pm, after going through Geelong and Hamilton, and put up our tents in the only possible place that we considered that was any good. If you liked a rolling slope, then you would have really liked it there.

We went to bed very early, 7.30pm as there was not much else there to do and also because it was very cold and I wanted to try out my new super doper sleeping bag that I had bought the day before.

All through the night we were awaken by the shouts and abuse of other campers putting up their tents in the dark. While waiting for the others to arrive on Friday, the time was spent chasing other campers away from our spot by saying:- “A BIG BIKIE CLUB from MELB. was coming to the weekend”.

Well, they finally arrived at 1.45pm (AUST. TIME). There was Brendon & Sally, Ian & Lynne, Tom & Jude, Frank & KT, Ken, Lloyd, John, Glen & Vicky, Chris & Debbie, Bonney & Phil and children and also much later in the day Joy arrived.

There was not that much sleep to be had that night either, what with bikes riding around the camping grounds all night. The next morning Tom & Jude decided to make one large cup of tea in their pannier bag of all places, it was quite a sticky mess.

A few of us decided to take a trip down to Pt MacDonnell to look at the sights and have some grotty fish & chips for lunch, then off to Ewans Ponds to look at the lovely pools of water. The 250 Suz. breaks down for the second time but we manage to jump start the bike and get it back to camp. In the meantime we find out that Tom has dropped his headlight out and smashed it onto his nice new mudguard. (Good bikes these BM/s)

Saturday night some went to the speedway while others went to the pictures, the ones that stayed behind went to bed early only to be woken up by Frank who decided to rev “shit” out of his bike when he arrived back. He was very surprised to find that no-one would talk to him the next morning.

Lloyd and I decided to leave for home that day. I had a lot of things to do at home as I was going to Mallacoota the following day. We left at 9.45am and went via Dartmoor, Hamilton and Ballarat and arrived at my place at 2.45pm.

I don’t know if you would call this a good weekend as there were times when I wished that I was home, as the camping ground left a lot to be desired. I do not like crowds, I would prefer to camp out in the Mulga away from everything including people. I think that this is far more relaxing. Besides if you wanted to take a shower or even to go to the toilet you had to queue up and this is not my idea of a holiday. It’s probably just me getting old. Anyway for those of you who enjoy this sort of thing I hope you had a good time.

Smithy. 750/4

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CRYPTIC COMMENTS

WASHING INSTRUCTIONS for BIG FOOT sleeping bag:- machine was with mild det. Dry in dryer with clean Tennis Shoe???? When done throw away bag and eat tennis shoe.

Keith definitely going to sell BM after finding out that Honda getting same MPG.

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EASTER WEEKEND MT.GAMBIER

Ably led by Ian Taylor, the group of about 14 bikes ranging from 250cc to 1000cc left Laverton at 7.45am.

At the first fuel stop, Brendan and Sally showed up. There are late comers in every group. Hamilton was the next stop where bikes were fuelled up (except 1 BMW) and food consumed. The township was very busy with people going to bike races, hot rod show and other Easter attractions. Leaving Hamilton John’s 250 Suzuki started to play up, however he made Mt. Gambier on a wing and a prayer. At Dartmoor Chris and Debbie rode Tom and Jude’s 750 BMW while Tom and Judy got onto Brendan and Sally’s 500 Yamaha while they rode Chris’s R100RS. All confusing, I reckon.

Arriving at Mt. Gambier caravan park the club was greeted by Greg Smith and Keith Harris. Friday night was spent at the caravan park.

Saturday a few riders went to see the bike races practicing, with Chris and I doing a few laps round the track. After a few laps I pulled into the pits with Chris following after. He had to, he went onto second reserve. Saturday night a few of us went to the movies, while others stayed at the park.

Sunday morning with one of the members being unpopular, the club went to the races except Greg, and Phil and family who left for home. Thanks to Chris we didn’t pay at the gate. While the races were in progress, Chris and I went round the track taking photos.

An early departure saw Chris, Debbie, Tom, Jude and a few others heading home. Ian and Lynne, Glen and Vicki, John and me left later on after replacing Ian's rear tube which went flat overnight.

With Ian leading and me bringing up the rear the remaining four bike convoy headed toward Melbourne, via Ballarat. At Lake Bolac, John’s Suzuki 250 gave up the ghost. Leaving the bike at the B.P station john came on my bike back to Melbourne.

All together a very good Easter break and a good time was had by all.

KT’S MASTER (Frank).

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CAPE LIPTRAP LIGHTHOUSE APRIL 13

Alias Bad Luck Comes In Threes)

It had all the ingredients of being a great day as approximately a dozen or more of us left KBCP at 9am.. (please forgive absence of names – after only four rides I’m still a bit vague on these). The weather was great, warm and Indian summerish with a promise of getting hotter as the day unfolded. Things went smoothly and we pulled in at Dandenong for our first stop to finalize the route. Drouin was the next stop and we all (or so we thought) pulled in at about 10.45. This is where bad luck part one started.

After peeling of several layers of winter woollies (the temperature already in the high 20’s) drinks and “greasies” were consumed with great gusto. Gradually it began to dawn on those assembled that we weren’t moving on and that something was amiss – Big D had gone missing. Tow volunteers headed back down the road to re-locate him. Time rolled on, more greasies were consumed, a spot of sun basking and idle chatter were indulged in until the masses began to get restless and it was thought the other two had been spirited way into the blue yonder. Finally (it seemed like a century) they re-appeared with the bad news that a search all the way back to Dandenong had failed to uncover Big D. An impromptu conference decided that as Big D had probably headed off via a different direction (which we had originally intended to follow but overshot) with a guy who had only come on the ride as Dandenong, we would probably catch up with him closer to our destination. After over an hour we were finally back on the road again.

We headed towards Korumburra and Inverloch through some lovely, but dry open country and stopped for lunch at the local surfies “Greasy Joe’s” somewhere. Right in the middle of ordering copious quantities of hamburgers etc. the prodigal son – Big D – showed up out of the blue. I never quite got to hear the full story of his disappearance and resurrection, but with everyone back in the fold we headed off again.

we never quite made it to the Lighthouse, but got to the lagoon like, tranquil inlet at the beach at Walerville after an interesting ride through some thick powder like dirt roads.

Meanwhile, back on the road, just after the last petrol/coffee stop at Korumburra (I think), bad luck part 2 unfolded in form of your friend and mine, the local country cop, who decided his Sunday sport would be a licence check on these scruffy bikie blokes who were defiling his territory. This courteous cop from the country constabulary first clapped eyes on us in the main drag of downtown wherever we were while we were circling around looking for petrol station. His brow had become furrowed and clouded over, his eyes creased mean and beady and his moustache twitched with irritation and my lip reading registered a muttered curse. To cut an already long story short, he waved us over just outside the city limits and in a typical “I’m boss cock around here sonny” attitude, patronizingly announced a licence check – “you young fellas only” – anyone over 24 being deemed geriatric.

While everyone rifled through their gear to find licences, Ian and I suggested that he should not overlook the youngest member of the group – our mascot – a grey furry varmint with hot pink ears and pearly white buck teeth – hiding behind the windshield, while someone else commented it should be booked for illegal riding position! The cop appeared to appreciate our commentary on just how ridiculous the whole thing was, not to mention unnecessary.

Bad luck part 3 occurred just near the Koo-wee-up turnoff when a Ducati 860 broke its chain. The chain was extracted as the light began to fade rapidly and it was towed into Tooradin by Les and his BMW where a brief post-mortem was undertaken and the Ducati left there.

God know if anything else happened after the final parting of way at Dandenong.

Caroline (pillion CX500)

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“THANKS GUYS”

The Sunday ride down to Cape Liptrap Lighthouse would have to be one of the craziest rides I can remember.

What with going the wrong way and losing our rear rider, having lunch at Drouin on way to the Peninsular and the speed section was fun too, and not forgetting the sand traps; but the crunch came when my expensive ‘O’ ring chain let go and jammed the countershaft sprocket. It didn’t break on the master link but cranked on one of the side plates half way through the chain.

Well, on behalf of myself and the Duke I’d just like to say “thank you” to the club members for assisting me in this nasty spot of catastrophe; well, they couldn’t just leave me there.......could they??

I would especially like to thank Garry on the R1000S who ferried me home to pick up another chain and back to Tooridan where he assisted me in righting the wrong and sticking by me all the way home as I only had 1^st and 2^nd gears.

Dave 860 GTS & BM.

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MAROONDAH RESERVOIR BBQ 20.4.80

Arriving at KBCP at 9.20 found Ian and myself face to face with a most conscientious Mick Fagan, who had been there since 9.15 (thinking it was 9.30 leave not 9.30 meet).

When we left there were about 40 wheels, divided by 2 gives .....oh hang on, there were 2 chairs and a couple of kids – enough for two scanty baseball teams and various onlookers, whatever that adds up to!

Very pleasant, however, to see some old faces – sorry folks, familiar – as well as new. A special welcome to Mark on the X7 Suzuki – hope your electrics have since been resuscitated and your heart replaced to your chest form your throat after pillioning a whole day with Mick. (Only kidding Mick).

Maroondah Reservoir is a very pleasant picnic—BBQ type place about 65K from Melbourne via the shortest route. Thank you Tom for not taking it. The 120K or so through Warrandyte, Christmas Hills, Yarra Glen and Healesville included some really fast and scenic roads, I suppose you motor cycle tourers often take it all for granted, but I’m a little out of touch and they are some of my favourite roads.

The BBQ’s were hot and spitting on our arrival, thanks to Brendan and Sally, and Christine and Craig who arrive ahead of the club entourage. Much dead cow and many mystery bags were transformed by heat to culinary delights – namely chops and snags.

To aid digestion, two Frisbees were aimed, thrown and sometimes caught for a while. The baseball game was refereed by Sally (and all the other players), who did a sterling job at stopping the odd ball.

I for one was sorry to have to stop yakking and pack up for the home journey. (That 250 Kwaka does sound tempting Keith, but...well...winters coming!)

Everyone had well and truly warmed up their bikes, and settled back in to their seats by Yarra Glen hit the horizon. A quick stop was made as people reorganized themselves into smaller groups, leaving in various directions for home, Keith, Les, Tom and Jude, Mick and Mark, and Ian and myself headed back through Christmas Hills, Eltham and Templestowe.

Ian snapped a clutch cable somewhere near Eltham, and the last we saw of the club was the tail light of Les’ Bee Emm. The cable was quickly replaced and travelling resumed. As it turned out we were going right past the clinic where Lynne was working, so we called in for a hello and a sticky nose at the behind the scenes happening.

And so ended the day. The weather had held out, making riding an easy T-shirt and light jumper under coat affair. Congratulations on a good turn up, and safe riding.

Jo (ex-MSCAV)

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GOSSIP*** GOSSIP*** GOSSIP*** GOSSIP*** GOSSIP*** GOSSIP***

You heard it first in this mag:-

Keith and Tom to swap bikes. (Finance Co’s watch out)

Frank donates $1.22 to Childrens Hospital.

Miserable Markham fails to be taken in for raffle ticket.

What certain member does not want it know to another member that he calls him “DAWSO”. More to come. (eh, STEVO)

Easter Bunnie comes to Lynne in shape of square egg. Watch out for Pimples.

Fagan lashes out and buys $450 tent. Blizzard proof.

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Father O’Reilly was a priest in a very poor parish. He asked for suggestions as to how to raise money for his church and was told horse owners always had money, so he went to a horse auction the following day, but he made a very poor buy, as the horse turned out to be a donkey.

However he thought he might as well enter the donkey in a race. The donkey came in third and the next morning the headlines in the paper read “AA PLACE FOR FATHER O’REILLY’S ASS.” The Archbishop saw the paper and was very displeased. The next day the donkey came in first and the headlines read, “FATHER O’REILLY’S ASS OUT IN FRONT”. The Archbishop was up in arms and figured something had to be done and when the donkey raced for the third time it came in second and the paper headlines read “FATHER O’REILLY’S ASS BACK IN PLACE”.

The Archbishop thought this too much so he forbade the priest to race the donkey again, which inspired the editor to write “ARCHBISHOP SCRATCHES FATHER O’REILLY’S ASS”.

They buried the Archbishop three days later.

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“WAITER, this coffee tastes like mud.”

“Well, it was ground only ten minutes ago.”

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“WAITER, there’s a dead fly in my soup”.

“Yes, it’s the hot water that kills them”

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A mad scientist made a clone of himself, but the experiment went wrong. The end result was an ugly, obscene monster, and the scientist got rid of it by pushing it off a cliff. He was arrested by Police and charged with making an obscene clone fall.

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