EDITORIAL NOVEMBER 1980

 

Well, here goes with our first Editorial, but what does one write in one’s first editorial? I suppose I could say how good the mag is going to be now that Faye and I are the editors etc, etc, but that cannot be right, as the mag can only be as good as the material that YOU, the members, supply to us to edit and print. 

 

We’ll hold up our end of the bargain, i.e. have the mag available at each Club meeting.  Whether or not there is anything worth reading beyond the Editorial and Itinerary will depend entirely on how many write-ups of runs, tit bits of info and scandal that is fed to us.So, if you are asked to do a write-up, or, have some info that you feel may be of interest to other members, get it to us as promptly as possible.  By doing so you’ll do 2 favours, one to us by giving us something to print and one to all the other members by giving then a mag that is worthwhile reading.

 

Incidentally our address is 246 Gap Rd, Sunbury 3429 and may be used for postal or personal delivery (the kettle is always warm).  Our phone number is (03) 744-1189 (we don’t answer it if we’re not home!).  Cheers.

 

Faye & Geoff Morgan.

 

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NOVEMBER RUNS

 

Friday 7                    General Meeting, Club Hall. 8.15 pm SHARP.

                                 Darren’s movies of U.S.A. trip.

Sunday 9                  Coppins Lookout. KBCP 8.30 am

Sunday 16                Mt Beckworth. Challenge by Ballarat Tourers.

                                 8.30 am KBCP.

Weekend 22/23        Camping, lower Glenelg National Park. 8am

                                 Laverton Shell Service Station.

Sunday 30                Whroo.  KBCP 9am (bring torch)

 

DECEMBER

 

Friday 5                    General Meeting, Club Hall. 8.15pm SHARP

                                 Guest speaker, Castrol.

 

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*******CONGRATULATIONS*******

 

The CLUB members would like to congratulate Christine and Craig Dawson on the arrival of a healthy 8lb 1oz baby boy on 6th October, welcome Cameron.

 

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XMAS PARTY

 

WHERE:-                Darmodys Hotel, Alexandria.

 

WHEN:-                   6th & 7th December

 

COST:-                     $17.00 per head.

                                 For further details and bookings, see Ian Taylor. Final bookings by 16th Nov.

 

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STOKES (Australasia) Limited (per courtesy of Mr Ken Thompson) have given us a donation (value $30.00) which consists of a complete set of Committee and Life Membership Badges.

 

MANY THANKS.

 

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NOTICE TO ALL MEMBERS

 

MOTO-SPORT SUZUKI of 29 Keilor Road, North Essendon.  Have agreed to allow a 10% discount on all Spare Parts and Accessories to MTCV members.  (Result of the efforts of our President).

 

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CHRISTMAS HAMPER – RAFFLE

 

This year the Hamper will be of the traditional style.

i.e. Ham on the bone, Marzipan, Glazed fruit, Nuts, Bon-bons, Champagne, Fruit cake, Plum pudding, Shortbread etc etc.  Which is valued at over $60.00 all tickets for the hamper will be available from either Phil Duffy or Keith Finlay and will cost 50c each.  Tickets will be sold to members only.

 

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CRAP FROM THE CAP

 

It has come to my notice that lately there has been an alarming increase in the amount of what common folks call bullshit about bike ‘A’ being infinitely superior to bike ‘B’  This must stop immediately !!

 

I mean, really the poor uneducated and illectually inept morons who ride bike ‘C’ can hardly get a word in edge ways at club meetings, rallies, runs tec.  This can be humiliating educating or just sheer pain in the glutinous maximus.  Many a time have I been to a function as a member of the majority or as a participant of the other side, i.e. GL owner at the Gold rush rally and a Kwaka owner at a Duke club meeting.  My reaction to both situations was just sit back and listen to the amount of ‘Bull’ that was proffered.

 

We all know our own bike will:-

a)                                                Go faster than everyone elses.

b)                                                Out handle everyone elses.

c)                                                Have better fuel economy than everyone elses.

d)                                               Last a lot, lot longer than everyone elses.

e)                                                Be more reliable than everyone elses.

 

So why earbash that poor inept dim witted, brainless, nincompoop sitting or standing beside you?  He is probably thinking the same about you.

 

I’ll tell you why, it is all because of the human weakness called EGO and it gets to everyone of us, except your long suffering, hardworking club captain, (for you nongs out there I am talking about myself, the latter part of the paragraph applies here)

 

It is time we changed our ways and started talking some sense.  Please join with me fellow club members and pray that we may reduce the loads of rubbish that is written and spoken about our bikes.

 

I am naturally unbiased because I know that the Goldwing is the greatest and most magnificent piece of engineering knowhow ever released to a world that was conned that the ‘Bloody Mess on Wheels’ and the spaghetti framed wog bikes were better than best.

 

I humbly thank you for reading this oracle of truth, justice and the Japanese way.

 

Kommandant Kevin GL 1000.

 

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TIT – BITS

 

Overheard a fellow member recently state that the R80 G/S could be an ideal replacement for his current 3 or 4 year machine which is well into its second time around the clock.  Trouble is the G/S will not be available for at least twelve months – maybe longer.  Anyone care to make a book on the total mileage of the current machine when and if he gets a G/S?

 

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Suspect a certain R90 maybe about to gain a set of chains on its rear wheel.  Something to do with hill – climbing?

 

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Also hear that a certain member now has to flip a coin before he goes riding! CB750 or R65; which will it be?

 

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Comment made that club camping weekends are becoming a BMW benefit!! True or False? – the latter I trust!

 

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QUEENSCLIFF FORT. 14/9/80

 

After taking Keith Finlay up on his offer to ride as pillion on a club run, there I was astride his ‘ST’ one Sunday morning.  As we made our way towards the KBCP, I was constantly reminded by the club sticker on the back of his lid, which club he was a member of.  A ‘RELAX’ sticker would have been more appropriate for me on this occasion.

 

Arriving at the KBCP I recognised some of the faces and their names, from the AGM where I had my first introduction to the club.  After some of the morning after the night before gossip we were on our way with Keith leading and Big D as rear rider.

 

Doing battle with the strong winds on the Western Highway I was glad I was on the ‘ST’ instead of my  250.  Turning off Highway 8 at Rockbank, it was time to relax as we had the wind working with us instead of hindering our progress.  Cobbledicks Reserve with its creek crossing and smouldering VW gave the tail enders a chance to catch up and the club to look like an organised group.

 

Geelong via the pastures, green hills and deserted roads of Anakie was the first petrol and tongue wagging stop since our journey started.  On leaving Geelong the clouds covered the sky and turned what had been a clear sunny day into a rain threatening day.

 

Queenscliff’s Fort looked interesting as we approached, but it was a pity that we had to wait a number of hours before becoming disappointingly bored within its walls.

 

As the club entered the Fort, after lunching at the beach, just what were all the people staring at?  Surely they’d seen motorcyclists before.  Anyway with the pinging of rain on our helmets the return journey to Geelong was via Portarlington and Drysdale.  A petrol stop outside Geelong was where the club dispersed, everyone hoping to dodge the rain.

 

Homeward bound, battling the cars on the freeway could only be described as quick.  So that was my most enjoyable first Sunday with the club and will definitely not be the last.

 

Bryce.

 

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Q. What has an I.Q. of 15 and digs holes in the road?

A. 15 Irish labourers.

 

Q. What has an I.Q. of 18 and digs holes in the road?

A. A wombat.

 

Q. What’s black and crisp and hangs from the ceiling?

A. An Irish electrician.

 

Q. What do you do if an Irishman throws a pin at you?

A. Run – he’s probably got a grenade in his mouth.

 

Q. What do you do if Irishman throws a grenade at you?

A. Pull the pin out and throw it back.

 

Q. How many Irishmen does it take to make popcorn?

A. Five.  One to hold the pan and four to shake the stove.

 

Q. What’s an Irish four course meal?

A. Baked potato, boiled potato, mashed potato and chips.

 

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THOMPSON RIVER DAM

 

Well this was one of those runs where if anything was going to happen it was going to happen today and in front of an audience.

 

The route we took roughly paralleled the Princes Hwy, down to Drouin. From Drouin to Trafalgar via the Hwy then on to the side road from Trafalgar to Moe where I bogged the ‘Wing’ on the outskirts of the township.  (Refer to Mike Formani for photo and me for the jive).

 

At Moe we stopped and had lunch. While I was there I also washed ‘Miss Piggy’ for some rather potent and obvious reasons (no smartie, the wing wasn’t S—T on, it sank up to its axles in it).

 

From Moe we travelled up to the Thompson River Dam construction site via Erica, where Ian and Dave left us to go to the Walhalla pub.  (Damned alco’s)

 

The run up to the dam was good and so was the run back to Erica to hopefully meet up with Ian and Dave.  On arrival at Erica they were not to be found, so a quick blast to Walhalla was in order and this is where I found them.  Upon my return to Erica a decision was made that we return home via Tanjil Bren, Noojee etc, but we became lost up a dead end dirt track.  This is where I found out how great a dirt bike the ‘Wing’ really is.

 

We returned to Moe where I felt that with the traffic that was going to be encountered on the highway that Moe was a good place to disperse.

 

Kevin GL 1000 (B.M.W...a poor man’s Goldwing)

 

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Did you hear about the Irishwoman ironing her curtains?

 

She fell out of the window.

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MT. HOWARD ? MT. HOWITT ? MT. BULLA? 12/10/80

 

There was a fair gathering of bikes at the KBCP when I arrived at 3 mins to 8am.  The morning was cool and overcast as it was to remain all day.  Craig called the group together to give us a rundown on the days ride and I find we are heading for Mt Howitt at the back of Mt Bulla, not Mt Howard as printed in the itinerary. At 8am we head off through Ringwood, Lilydale, a devious back road to Coldstream then Yarra Glen and Healesville.

 

Had a good run up the Black Spur on dry road with only light traffic.  We stop at Merton for coffee and to feed some of the more hungry machines.  At this stop our rear rider Phil Duffy decides to return home as there is an ominous grinding coming from the rear wheel area of the outfit.  Craig says that we will have lunch the other side of Mansfield.

 

Marc Sulot is volunteered as rear rider and we get going.  Up through Mansfield, Merrijig to Mt Bulla.  No food stop.  Oh well we will go to Mt Howitt then Mansfield for lunch says Craig.

 

Tom Saville scorches down the road from Mt Bulla arriving at the bottom with a glowing blue disc.  The Mt Howitt road is a right off and we return after about a km.  Lunch stop is a BP station just east of Mansfield.

 

Mick and Joy go into Mansfield for fish and chips.  Mick declares the petrol is 0.1c a litre cheaper in Mansfield.  A big saving for Mick; probably burnt up the savings getting there and back.  El Presidente elects himself rear rider as the Kwaka ST has an internal upset and is gobbling juice at a rate of 32 mpg.

 

After lunch Craig leads us down through Jamieson and across to Snobs Creek. On this section there is some excitement as I have a good scratch with Tom Saville and Chris Negus.  There has been a lot of work done on this road and a few kilometres of new bitumen.  Also on this section one of three visitors runs off the road on what was an immaculate F2 Honda.  Have you ever seen the star plate spokes ripped out of a Comstar wheel and banana forklegs?  I have!

 

The F2 remains are lifted into a friendly Forestry Commission Toyota and deposited at Taggerty for later retrieval.  The remainder of the ride is rather uninspired with the Black Spur littered with cars and very slow caravans.  The ride breaks up at Healesville and I return home through Christmas Hills in pouring rain.  The ‘Garbage Gear’ is still waterproof.  I’m glad to say.

 

Keith Harris BMW 750 this time.

 

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Q.  Why did the Irish stop making ice-blocks?

A.  Because the old lady who knew the recipe died.

 

Q.  Did you hear about the Irish Hardie Ferodo driver?

A.  He made 100 pit stops – four for fuel and the other 96 for directions.

 

Q.  How do you recognise Irish mechanics?

A.  They’re the guys who put on hub caps so the writing on them is the right way up.

 

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FOR SALE

 

1976 Honda GL1000 Goldwing & DJP Sidecar.

 

This extremely well cared for machine is now offered for sale to discerning buyers. The sale will include all those cosmetic & functional modifications currently incorporated.  These mods include the forks, which now operate on an emulsion consisting of Castrol Fork Oil & Red Dust, (the exact proportions of which shall remain the secret of the writer) & results in the appropriate variation (deterioration?) in damping as well as a slight change in rake (de frame she bruk!) which results in a certain degree of steering vagueness which is guaranteed to increase the flow of adrenalin under most conditions.  Whilst the above mods are obviously of a performance nature, maintenance has not been overlooked as it is no longer necessary to change oil in this machine.  In fact, pouring oil in usually results in a long face as it tends to stain the concrete below the scientifically positioned hole in the crankcase, (the result of the attack of a rock, not leaving the plug out!). 

 

Finally is the finish!  A beautiful burgundy with shades of grey primer and spew green peering through the wear spots has resulted in a rather (un)-attractive triple toned colour scheme.

 

I guess one should also add the breakaway feature of the sidecar which any day now will separate from its wheel and suspension unit and will no doubt prove the riders proficiency at flying the chair.  (or otherwise).

 

The price for this very desirable machine will be disclosed to interested parties should they care to contact the owner (who isn’t admitting he is !?).  No offer under $10,000.00 will be considered.

 

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POINT COOK

 

There is a proverb ‘Better late than never’.  Well this report is so damn late, it probably should never have been written, but here goes anyway.

 

The day that this run was held on was the day that the Castrol 2 Hour Production race was being staged at Calder Raceway.  With my vast knowledge of exit routes of Melbourne, I reasoned that if point ‘A’ K.B.C.P, and point ‘B’ Point Cook R.A.A.F Base, were only 35 minutes apart by taking the most obvious and direct route, and that we had approximately 3 hours to fill in, a cook’s tour of the local Sunday bottle neck was just the thing to do the job magnificently.

 

After extricating myself and everyone else out of the thickening traffic that was heading towards the races, we cut across to Melton, south towards the You Yangs (did you know it was possible to get lost in this area) then east to Werribee South where we had lunch.

 

After lunch we wandered over to the R.A.A.F base and spent a few hours inspecting the many interesting artefacts and restored aircraft.

 

Kevin GL 1000

 

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Q.  What is written on the bottom of Irish beer bottles?

A.  Open other end.

 

Q.  How do you burn an Irishman's ear?

A.  Ring him up while he’s ironing.

 

Q.  How did the Irishman burn his other ear?

A.  Well he had to ring the doctor didn’t he.

 

Q.  How did the Irishman drown?

A.  He was trying to push start a submarine.

 

Q.  How do you sink an Irish submarine?

A.  Knock on the hatch.

 

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WALKERVILLE 18TH & 19TH OCTOBER

 

Saturday morning dawned fine and bright in Upwey, ideal for the run down to Walkerville. Fortunately for us Ian Taylor wanted his Suzi trail bike at Walkerville so we were both able to ride solo, a lot more comfortable for Sally these days.  A mental block saw me heading for Hallam at 8am not Cranbourne so of course by the time we reached Cranbourne the club was well gone.  However this didn’t matter greatly as we travelled at a leisurely and legal speed on the two trail bikes.

 

Grantville was the first of many petrol stops for the Suzi during the weekend with its thirst, around 50mpg, and tiny tank.  Also at Grantville was a convenient polling booth where the local CWA made all visitors feel welcome at their home-made cake stall. 

 

Back on the road travelling was very pleasant with very light traffic and the sun bright and warm.  The countryside was green and pleasant and the occasional glimpses of beach and ocean from the road were most refreshing.  Tarwin Lower was the last township before Walkerville so a quick stop for milk and bread soon turned into a leisurely wait in the sun.  However, no sign of the bike club so on to Walkerville we rode.  A few kilometres of the road are fairly sandy but proved no problem on the trail bikes.  We found the club had come via Fish Creek safely tucked away from the sea breeze amongst the tea tree scrub in the Walkerville camping ground.

 

Present were Tom, Jude, Keith, Kevin, Marc and a very relieved Ian and Lyn seeing their trail bike arrive safely.  After lunch Ken Markham arrived with a mate and his wife who, judging by the number of accessories on their Goldwing,  felt that the wings are not heavy enough in standard trim. 

 

Later in the day a few of us rode to Cape Liptrap, and then to South Walkerville and North Walkerville which are only a short distance apart. The only means of travel between them is by footpath, beach or a rather long sandy road.  Anyrate, exploring by bike eventually found us on Walkerville South beach where we all played silly buggers on the firm sand till most of us fell off. Kevin's GL got bogged and it started getting decidedly dangerous. 

 

So then for something safer we went trail riding. But after Ian skidded down an almost vertical track and it took much pushing and three attempts by Tom to ride the Suzi out of the gully we gave trail riding away too.

 

Back at camp those people who hadn’t brought supplies voted Ian and I to ride to Fish Creek. As much of the road is sand and Ian was setting the pace, it became a ride on the wild side but of course there is no truth in the rumour that I had to take evasive action to avoid a high speed tree.

 

Sunday morning reasonable weather. We went beach combing while others explored or continued Saturday night’s discussion (argument) of best bike.  During this time Keith Finlay arrived and during a short ride on the beach quickly proved that it’s possible to bog down a Jap one litre bike unladen, where a heavily laden BMW will go without trouble.  Anyrate, as low tide was about 11am most of our intrepid band were soon following me down the beach to Walkerville South and on to Tarwin Lower.  Ian T. took over the lead at Wonthaggi and took us to their friend’s garage at the Gurdies where we all lunched before dispersing for home.

 

All in all Walkerville was a very pleasant weekend, the type of run that does much to improve club morale.

 

Brendon Gleeson.

 

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DON’T FORGET

 

For bookings for the Christmas Party see Ian Taylor at club meetings or give him a bell on 568 4875.  Bookings must be made by 16th November.

 

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