Castlemaine Poker Run Sunday 12^th June 2011

Willem Vandeveld	Honda ST1300	A♣,J♣,A♦,K♦,10♦	A pair of Aces
Misho Zrakic	Honda CBR1000	K♠,8♥,A♠,10♠,A♣	A pair of Aces
Tony Stegmar	Honda CBR1000	9♠,K♦,10♣,Q♥,10♦	A pair of 10s
# Paul Southwell	Honda CBR1000	Q♦,9♠,A♣,Q♠,A♠	Two pairs: Aces &Qs
Steve Cowburn	Honda CBR954	8♣,A♣,10♠,9♦,8♦	A pair of 8s
Ben Warden	Honda CBR954	K♥,9♥,8♠,10♥,J♣	King high nothing
Mirko Strasser	Honda CBR929	A♣,Q♣,Q♦,J♠,9♠	Pair of queens
Cliff Peters (leader)	Kawasaki ZX12R	8♥,9♥,10♣, J♠,A♣	Ace high nothing
Pina Garasi	Honda CBR600	9♣,8♣,K♠,9♥,K♦	Two pair: Ks & 9s
* Tom Bartus (2^nd ride)	Kawasaki ZX1000	A♠,10♥,A♦,A♣,9♦	Three Aces
Jason Wilson (rear)	Kawasaki ZX9	Q♥,8♣,9♠,A♣,10♥	Ace high nothing
Gavin Chapman (2^nd ride)	Triumph 600	A♥,Q♥,10♣,8♣,8♦	A pair of 8s
Marc Marais	Triumph 675	J♠,A♠,8♦,A♦,10♦	A pair of Aces
	13 bikes, 13 people	Jack, Queen, King, Ace

* Highest hand but not a member – ineligible to win

# Next best hand – declared the winner; free MSR Membership 2011/12

(Keep waking up!) Is it time to go yet? 5.30am, 6am. Come on!  I’m just lying here pretending to be asleep. I've had enough. I'll get up and do something. Soon it gets light and there is not a cloud in the sky. I start getting ready. The sun is up, the sky is blue, and a big smile appears on my face. Man, this is good. It’s 5.5 degrees outside so that means gear under and over my leathers. OK, it’s time to go. Start the bike, roll down the driveway, click it into third gear and let the clutch out. Good rpm up the road; nice and easy. Let things warm up. I won't have to change gear for a bit.

I live 750 feet above sea level in Belgrave. As I ride down through Ferntree Gully, the sky clouds over. The fog gets thick and the temperature drops. Vapour forms on the outside of the visor, and fogs up on the inside. I can’t see much, so open the visor. I can see a bit better but my face starts to freeze so I close it again and only open it when it gets really hairy - which is too often. Heat is getting sucked out of my face so my core temperature is dropping. Heated grips on three, now burning my hands, but at least my body temperature is being topped up. I thought it was going to be a nice, sunny day! Sometimes I forget that I live above the fog line.

I arrive at Whittlesea about twenty past nine, thinking I might be first, but there were already three people there. I fuel up and say good morning to Willem. I see Cliff pull in. I go in to pay for fuel. Ben rocks up. Then Misho and Pina, and others arrive. Jason tells me about these good bags to put in your boots to keep the water out if it rains. They also stop the wind so your feet are warmer. Thank you, Jason. Much better.

I make a coffee at the drink machine, which I don't normally do, just to warm myself up. It reminded me of burnt dirt. I never have sugar. I put sugar in. This might be the worst coffee I have ever had! 

Cliff is going around greeting people, writing a very neat list of names and ICE numbers with a thick ink pen (easy to read). Very nice, Cliff. Ben's wandering around with the cards: “Pick a card, any card, no you can't have that one.” Next the pre-ride talk before we get ready and leave. 

Up the windy bit to Kinglake West, then on towards Flowerdale. I get held up by a red ute for a second and a green station wagon candy car passes the other way. Then I'm on my way. The only police car seen for the day.

At the Flowerdale Strath Creek turnoff I see Paul corner marking. Then shortly after he goes past me; gone for all money! On past Strath Creek and up Murchison Gap. I love this bit: steep, uphill, tight twisties. I just let myself totally go!

Past Broadford race track and I have a flash back to when I crashed on a ride day. Then it's along more back roads to Pyalong. I see a few bikes here but before long I'm riding into Lancefield, after 117kms. No fuelling up, just straight to morning tea. I have a hot chocolate to wash down the burnt dirt after taste. We collect around the picnic bench and Ben pulls out the cards again, pick a card, any card. I don't want one with a hole in it! Then we are organised for a photo shoot before hitting the road again.

We return up the Burke and Wills Track and cross to Kyneton, Green Hill, Metcalf, and Castlemaine for lunch and fuel after another 83kms. Castlemaine is really busy, people everywhere. I go into the bakery. Too busy for me so it's a Big M. I sneak in, pay cash, and I'm out of there. Liquid lunch for me!

Then it's out with the cards again, pick a card, any card. Misho and Paul have a pair of Queens, and our good friend Tom, who is not yet a member, has three Aces.

Now I would like to take you into the future for a second. I have encountered Ben's bad bend and embankment with wire rope barricade, kicked off with a line of pot holes and an everlasting spread of stones. Ben tried to come back and warn us, but it was too late. I hope to tell you more later. The crash has taken my memory of this Castlemaine ride, so I will tell you the last few things I can remember and that will be it! So let’s go back to the past.

We are riding along Ashbourne Road and all of a sudden there is a horse and cart, barely moving, just over a crest. Cliff and a few others have already gone past, spooking the horse, no doubt. It looks a bit iffy so I'm braking hard and drifting to the right, with the intention of slipping past. But the horse is agitated, a bit sideways, and so is the cart, and they are drifting across the road! As I'm about to pass this old, hairy woman turns around in the cart and screams out “Slooooow doooown”. Man, it was so loud I could hear it from inside my helmet. The scream had a distinctive yodel shriek to it. I have never heard anything so loud in all my riding, and don't forget, I’m deaf! Man, what a sight! I'll never forget it: the hairy Witch from Hell. She turned around in the cart with practiced confidence displaying scary, long, grey, dry hair, wrinkles, and a long nose. She really was the Witch from Hell! I’m reminded of the 1981 film, The Exorcist, the scene with the girl tied to the bed posts, possessed by the Devil, who turns her head a frightening 180 degrees, and projectile vomits green filth. The Witch from Hell is looking right at me in the same way, leaning out of the cart. I'm looking at her. That's when she hit me with the voice. Then I'm past!

I spoke to Paul. He seemed to think that she was pulling on the right rein forcing the horse across the road. I think he’s right. The horse did not look happy. I bet she’s home now with a pot cooking possum tails and frogs, casting spells. Maybe that's why I crashed - two weeks later.

A few more bends and rises and Cliff misses a corner. Ben's already marked it before Cliff turns around. We wind up at the end of the runway at Tullamarine Airport watching the planes come in and land. It was good! Paul gets the best hand with a pair of Queens and Aces. Good on you, Paul. The prize is a full year’s membership!

Thanks for a good ride, Cliff, and get well soon. Thank you, Jason, for rear riding and for taking Ben and me to watch the planes from around the other side of the runway. 

Tony Stegmar